BAD WEATHER

Bad Weather

                “I’m always there” is what a special friend since my nursing days at the University of San Agustin said to me.  It made a hell of a point for a simple text message. “It’s because you are always there. Try to be missing in action so that pangitaon nya ka na”. It is an unexpected response to my periodical life speculating group messages.

This occurred after playing basketball with the JOURNBOYS and the BROADBUMS. Bad weather never came. We had a great time playing basketball with each other. It is our steady bonding since summer and we share a great goal and a dream.  It started to rain at around 4pm but the wind blew the rainclouds away. The real storm cloud and heavy typhoon I was avoiding and waiting for never came for unknown reasons. It is 11:05pm and my text mate seems to have hit the pillows.  I do not have to disappear like Toto and his stupid film projector like in the film we watched for film art class. Life is not a film and a box of chocolates. I must live life to the fullest and hopefully have less regrets.

I was in awe of life when I lay on my bed before dinner. A different friend, who told me to wait, replied to my text. Then I said I was a little off… that I wanted to be strong in times like this when I’m contemplating I thought we felt exactly the same but the braces on that person’s teeth and my third molar crap growing – both our teeth hurt and that’s the only thing we had in common. I told that someone I was just a little off and wondering about life. I should try to keep in mind not to expect much every time to avoid disappointments for dedicating and caring for someone too much. Oh wait, my friend I was speaking of on the first paragraph replied^^ Oh but it seems we are at the end of our text discussion because I am asking the questions now.

When I reflect on life I think of life in general. I see visions of the ends of my lifetime – it drills my mind! … And the four years that flashed by. Our team lost today… the infamous “second unit” but I have lost several times other than just a sport. I had what I wanted but I’m not that pleased. Something you want is not always equal to happiness. However, what I really want to gain beyond this is peace of mind. I may lose battles, competitions, academics and love before. I will lose again at some point but do I think of what I have achieved before? Clinging to the past is a burden, thinking only of the present is selfish and always looking to the future cloud the sight. This is confounding. What should we choose? I say all three. I can, I should and why not?

This is not my journal. I never hide anything on my journal. I burned all chapters of it about ten years ago. However I am writing again!^^ It is great to see I always come up with something good from whatever crap happens to me. I did not want to be a journalist anymore. My passion for writing disappeared to the shadows along with that Odd job that I lost. However I am a Disk Jockey now. We started giving the Radio Station of West a new look today. I was with good people^^.

I always loved essays. I always score high on essays during high school even with only a couple of sentences. My New Media Journalism class and this uncertainty allowed me to write again. Now this realization: I am a musician, a singer, an anime artist, a hardcore gamer, martial artist, an enthusiastic student, a Disk Jockey, a journalist but most of all a calm and reasonable person.

Instead of drifting into oblivion I do what I love most which is writing^^.